My sister in Christ, Josie, has done it again. I feel sick to my stomach, all messed up inside. This is how it went down.
I arrived at church at the normal time. I sat down with my son and mother. A few minutes later, Josie and her father came and sat in the row directly behind me. At the end of the service I turned around and looked at her. At first it seemed she tried not to look in my direction, but then she looked and she half-smiled, and I thought half a look that said, "Oh no, not that guy that always looks at me". She said, "How are you?". Immediately I felt flustered and sweaty. I said, "Good". She said, "this is my father". I shook his hand and said, "my name is Arthur". Then silence. My mind was blank. We all half-smiled and walked away. How awkward!
After this I felt miserable inside. I felt like I ruined it with her and any chance of future friendships. I feel that now only God can help me get together with such a fine and lovely woman. The two hopes I saw today is that when she smiled, crow's feet formed in her eyes, and I saw laugh lines on the sides of her mouth, a sign of age. A revised estimate of her age may be 25 to 30, from a previous estimate of 23 to 26.
Lord Jesus, I have Josie in my prayers, so that she may become the true love of my life. A woman that I may love in the true biblical sense. I persevere in prayers that You may grant me this great mercy.
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